It was short, but sweet.
by Sargonas on Jan.20, 2010, under Personal
Tonight I received the most amazing message I think I have ever gotten in my life. It was an email from my girlfriend outlining almost a hundred things split between those that make her think of me because they hold a special reference to our time together, and reasons why shes fallen in love with me. These were not simple things like “your smile” but detailed items such as very specific personality traits I have under certain circumstances. It was the most personally tailored bit of flattery I have ever gotten in my entire life.
It ended with her explaining that because of all this, there was a problem. Her life was in chaos at the beginning of the year, too many balls being juggled in the air to the point she was already on the verge of panic and having a breakdown. I came crashing in, an unknown variable like a planet-killer asteroid and threw the chaos even more out of rhythm. I was unexpected, and problematic. In spite of all her feelings I don’t have a place in her life right now…
We were together 3 weeks. Short enough this isn’t earth shattering and almost insultingly easy to over come. At the same time, the loss of the potential, the could-have-been relationship, and the possibilities, its quite saddening. Part of me thinks its embarrassing to think there was enough substance after such a short time to feel an attachment and I will be mocked for this, and another part of me thinks its an insult to what we had and, most importantly what could have been, to speak of it in such a way.
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January 20th, 2010 on 10:35 am
Timing is everything, and it sucks because we’re absolutely powerless in that regard. You cannot speed up or slow down someone’s life, it just is what it is. I can look back to my early twenties and recall at least one person who I think I may have married (at the time) if we had both been at different points in our lives. Obviously everything worked out pretty well in the end
Who knows what’s going to happen in your life this year – or even next week, for that matter. Keep being optimistic. You’re awesome, and if I had single girlfriends up here I’d totally set you up. Hell, maybe I’ll convince one of them to move up here so I can do just that!